Cynical Synapse

Sat, 15 Oct 2011

Herman Cain Tops Republican Polls but No Black Walnut

Filed under: Candidates, Politics, Rants, Taxes — cynicalsynapse @ 5:22 am

Herman Cain

When I first heard Herman Cain refer to himself as Häagen-Dazs Black Walnut, I cringed for two reasons. First, he’s using a company name for political purposes, either without permission, or they’re paying him for product placement. Second, I took the flavor to have a clear racial undertone contrary to Cain’s calling out Rick Perry for his leased camp’s former name. Maybe it’s just because Cain can say it, but if I did, I’d be considered insensitive, at best. In any case, Cain has been milking (no pun intended) the ice cream analogy.

I happen to believe there’s iced milk, and then there’s Häagen-Dazs black walnut. “Substance, that’s the difference. I got the substance. I’m the black walnut! It lasts longer than a week.

melting ice cream

Now, Herman Cain finds himself at the head of the pack of Republican contenders. This shouldn’t be too surprising since Mitt Romney speaks out of more mouths than the Mormon Tabernacle Choir has and Rick Perry has performed miserably in the debates. I don’t know why her constituents elected her in the first place—Michelle Bachman’s elevator stops a floor short. Never mind the also-rans.

Well, here’s a ripple for Mr. Cain: Häagen-Dazs no longer makes black walnut ice cream. It had a limited run because sales fell below expectations. Beyond his ice cream substance and 9-9-9 tax plan, what exactly is Herman Cain standing for or offering in his presidential bid? Hope and change didn’t work the last time, so if that’s his meme, he’s going to melt away.

Previously on Herman Cain:


  1. Cain has his turn at the forefront, though he may have been better off taking the lead a couple of months on. More study time, fewer press cycles to challenge his status before actual votes are taken. I concur that Cain needs to go beyond 9-9-9, but I immediately respect any candidate seriously prepared to dismantle the current federal tax regime. The tax code as it stands is a preposterous but cruel joke designed to make criminals of tax payers. I would love to see that audacity applied further, and soon.

    Comment by Sisyphus — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 @ 12:04 am

    • And that would be one of the risks of starting the dang campaign season almost two years out from the election. It’s like Christmas decorations going up in stores before Halloween! Drives me nuts. Anyway, thanks for stopping by.

      Comment by cynicalsynapse — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 @ 8:21 pm

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