Cynical Synapse

Sat, 30 Aug 2008

Stupid People Shouldn’t Get Licenses

Filed under: Behavior, Driving, People, Rants — cynicalsynapse @ 10:16 pm

For some time now, I’ve felt the 10-question driver license test and the vision test really weren’t the right focus. I think the Secretary of State (or DMV) should have a mandatory intelligence test. It sure seems to me we have way too many stupid people on the roads today.

I happened across a blog at work one day that summarized my key pet peeves. Unfortunately, I can’t find it now, so you’ll just have to put up my rant instead of having the privilege of someone else’s words.

There are all kinds of “top tens” and “top nines” out there (who came up with top nine?) in the blogosphere. While there are certainly uniform “crimes,” those that fit in the top ten kind of vary with our particular preferences and even by region.

Several posts I’ve read, which I agree with, blame at least part of the problem on bad highway design. Amen! In my daily commute, I pass through 3 interchanges that were not designed for the capacities of traffic they’re expected to handle. Hello, MDOT, this is not complicated! Fricking tax-dollar-wasting “variable message signs” with dumb messages on them will not solve the issue. How about re-engineering the interchanges? Why do we spend millions—or even billions—of tax dollars to rebuild stretches of road to the same exact standard rather than expected future traffic loads? M-14 in Michigan is a classic example. The highway was completely reconstructed in 2006-07 exactly the same as it was with zero consideration for increased traffic loads, future densities, or at least expanding the third lane to the end of the construction zone. Pathetic.

But, I’m not sure even the best highway engineering can save us from the stupid people. First on my list are what I call the left-lane hogs. I used to consider Floridians the leaders here, but the problem has become rather universal. It comes up in most blogs on driving. Just see how often it’s mentioned in the Edmunds blog on regional differences. Michigan even recently posted “Pass Left, Keep Right|It’s the Law” signs, which have made absolutely no difference in driving habits.

A corallary to the left lane hogs is what I call the Lemming Syndrome. This is where cars just follow the one in front of them, regardless of what is going on around them. The Lemming Syndrome is what permits Bill Beaty’s solution to the wave syndrome to work. From my perspective, however, the lemmings are usually following a left lane hog. This backs up traffic in the left lane. But, how many times have you noticed a lemming behind you that speeds up when you change lanes? Don’t these retards realize there are other lines available?

Several of my other stupid people fit within World of Complaint’sstupid drivers and The Reasoner’s annoying drivers. Chief among these are the guys (a generic term including both males and females) who take the whole ramp to get up to a whopping 60 mph or so (if that) before merging into 70 mph traffic.

These folks usually don’t realize they are on an Interstate highway until about a mile or so down the road. Then they amazingly speed up to 75 or 80. Hello, why not use the acceleration lane to get to your traveling speed? That’s what it’s for! The reverse corollary of this are those that start slowing down a mile or so before their exit. Excuse me, but that’s what the deceleration lane is for; don’t hold up traffic on the freeway because you’re not sure you can slow down enough to exit. And don’t hit your brakes until you’re in that exit lane!

Cruise control has been around for at least 30 years now, and I’m amazed at how many people don’t seem to know about this feature. What appears to be a common underpinning of our traffic problems is a lack of social connection and decency in the confines of our vehicles. This is nowhere more evident than in the drivers who need to be first, no matter the impact of their selfishness. Once they’ve passed, at best their speed is inconsistent, but at worst, they’re actually driving slower than you were going. If you can afford a 21st century car—or even one more expensive than mine—you should be smart enough to know how to use the cruise control! So, if you want to go faster than me, fine. But don’t pass and then slow down in front of me.

The next big issue are those that wait to the last possible moment to move from the left lane to the exit lane. Are they just assholes? Did they not know where they were going? Or were they on their damn cell phones! While the latter ls likely, I tend to think they just don’t care about the rest of us. Social research seems to support this conclusion. The corrolary to this is the last-minute mergers when lanes end or are closed for construction. Instead of just merging, this selfish behavior penalizes us all with long back-ups. Even light traffic can turn into excessive delays under these circumstances.

So, research seems to say people hide behind their vehicles to express their inner evil, in a majority of cases. They become highly competitive, despite their actual personalities. The “me first” phenominon takes priority on the roads. This competitiveness, it seems, is counter productive. Imagine if we all just stopped competing and worked to end traffic jams.

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2 Comments

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  2. […] some farily intense opinions about other drivers. In August, i referenced another blog and noted stupid people shouldn’t get licenses. While there are certainly more than the fair share of stupid people out there, it’s not fair […]

    Pingback by Sociopaths on the Roadways « Cynical Synapse — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 @ 10:56 pm


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